no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
