You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
