i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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