I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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