Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
