The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Randomize
