Plan B is the new Plan A
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
