is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
