meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
