I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
