I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize