4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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