Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
