you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
