We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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