This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
