I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
