I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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