people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
