I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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