I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
