At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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