whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize