Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
