HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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