Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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