Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
