I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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