I want to stick my p in your. b.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
