note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
