I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
