we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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