Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
