In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We named our party play list daddy issues
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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