she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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