OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
