I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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