The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
