and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
