Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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