i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
