Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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