Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
