I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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