i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
