i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
