I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
