There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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