1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
