Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Holy sore nipples Batman
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize