Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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