You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
