The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
