how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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