Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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