My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
