and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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