So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
