Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
