Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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