I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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